BREAKING: People Like Pizza #NYTimesTrendStory

People engaging in a new trend: eating pizza (NY Times)

The New York Times reports today on the new "NY Times Trend story" that the old, young, rich and somewhat less-rich denizens of New York, all apparently like pizza:

Who says pizza delivery is just for dorm rooms and children’s birthday parties?

Actually, nobody has ever said that. At least not anyone who wasn't a pretentious douchebag. And actually if pizza delivery was just for dorm rooms and birthday parties, I'm pretty sure Domino's, Pizza Hut, and Papa John's would all be bankrupt.

Their contents were devoured by both the young, relaxed crowd in denim jackets and beanies celebrating Antonio Campos’s “Simon Killer” at the Jane Hotel, and by the guests in suits and cocktail dresses feting Danny Boyle’s “Trance” at a private triplex penthouse on Greenwich Street.         

I know, I know, pizza may be fine for the working class slobs and unwashed masses, but at an after-party? In Manhattan? With other Manhattan socialites in suits and dresses? Surely, you jest.

“I may need to rethink the food we have on offer,” Mr. Saffir wrote in an e-mail. “Pizza is way more fun.”        

Wait, don't tell me they may start serving food that actual human beings eat at these events. Pretty soon you won't have to eat a meal before you go and then politely eat a few bites of hors d'oeuvres that you don't really like and pretend you are full.

Some are also dialing Domino’s, Ray’s and their ilk for private dinner parties.

And people are actually eating pizza in their domiciles because it's easy to serve AND it tastes good?  Next thing you know they'll be wearing t-shirts unironically because they are comfortable.

“It was pizza and Champagne,” Ms. Heller said. “Because it’s something that everybody eats, unless you’re allergic to cheese or something.”

Awww, pizza and champagne. That's so adorable. At least you served it with champagne. Have to keep some part of the meal high-brow!

 “No one wants to — actually, any chic type — go to a pizza parlor and sit and eat greasy pizza,” he said. But not everything about the pizza-party atmosphere translates to Upper East Side and SoHo dining rooms.

This is the scene in every romantic comedy where an upper-class socialite like Cameron Diaz or Kate Hudson or whoever is the flavor of the minute shows they can be "fun" by engaging in some blue-collar activity like eating pizza in a greasy pizza parlor, while possibly washing it down with some peasant beverage like beer. Don't ruin the vibe!

“The one thing that’s awkward is that they had cloth napkins,” Mr. Davis said. “You can’t blot your pizza, which I like to do to get the grease off, with someone’s cloth napkin with an embroidered flower on it.”         

I can't tell you how many times I was about to have a slice of pizza and was forced to decide whether or not to dab the the grease with an embroidered cloth napkin. I mean it's either that or I use the sleeve of $100 bills in my wallet, right? Whaddya gonna do?

Canapé fatigue notwithstanding, in some buttoned-up circles, like those represented by Jonathan Marder, a publicist whose firm handles several of the highest-profile events on the philanthropic calendar, the haute pizza party remains unthinkable. 

“Pizza parties?” Mr. Marder wrote in an e-mail. “Fabulous for people smoking pot, but that’s not our crowd.”        

Ah yes, pizza is fabulous for stoners but the people in his crowd are strict alcoholics and coke addicts. 

The only thing that surprises me about this piece is that there are no Girls references. Hmmm, I have an idea for a new NY Times Trend piece centering on NY Times Trend pieces which surprisingly don't reference the show Girls at all. All the kids are doing it these days!